Swallowed in the Sea

Fiction

Honey and Clover.
                                                               

Sometimes, things happen so abruptly that it topples your world, like it's nothing. Nothing. And you have to get used to looking upside down.
                                                                 

The only memory I have of that day was of my heart pounding hard, real hard, the difficulty in breathing, and of the sweat pouring down my face.

You must be joking!

I wanted to scream at him

I talked to her just an hour ago!

But a strange lump that formed in my throat as soon as Takamoto told me the news, was holding my voice prisoner.

You're lying!

He looks away, unsure of how to react.

'Mayama', he says, coming closer, 'just calm down. Here.', he says drawing a chair at the table. 'Sit down...'

I clutch my shirt tightly.

'...and breathe for God's sake!', he yells.

But dammit, I am trying to breathe!

'The accident-'

And dammit all! It's just getting harder to breathe

I tune out of Takamoto's reporting. I think he knows I'm not listening, but he continues anyway. I don't stop him; I can't stop him. I still haven't found my voice.

Yamada....

I force myself to breathe and wheeze a 'Let's go' before rushing out.

I need to see her.

But Takamoto stops me as I head for the door.

'What?', I snap.

He shakes his head slowly

'She's still in surgery. They won't allow visitors until tomorrow'

'But there's no one with her!'

'Hagu's there, don't worry.'

'Hagu?'

'It was only because of Hagu's ID that somehow ended in Yamada's bag that they were able to contact her. Here -' he says handing me a plastic bag.

And suddenly, I couldn't breathe again.

The object in the plastic bag made my head spin. I felt dizzy

Yamada's prized cell phone, her very first mobile, was sitting in the bag, a hundred pieces and more.

Ayumi....

I breathe out through my mouth and get back to the kitchen for a smoke

'I need to call Shinobu' he says.

'I don't see the need to worry him.' I say, 'It's just an accident. You don't want him rushing from the U.S., do you?'

'Yeah, but - hey, Mayama' his tone goes from understanding to anger. I raise an eyebrow in question.
'How can you be so damn calm?!'

'Just like how you can' I reply

Who the hell said I was calm? He saw me when he told me about her, didn't he?

'Oh yeah, in case you didn't know, I was with Hagu when they took her into surgery and it frikkin' took me long enough to just stop the shaking!'

My heart painfully stops beating for a second as I swallow painfully.

'It really is that bad, huh?'

Takamoto suddenly looks regretful.

'I'm sorry. Of course you would be in pain.'

Pain? Well he got something right.

Takamoto takes a seat across mine at the table, to which I had unconsciously returned.

'Remember when Yamada got her cell phone?'

Another jolt of pain surges with the memory

'She kept calling us thrice a day to remind us she had a mobile'

'Yeah...' he drifts off.

I sigh heavily as her last call to me plays in my head.

'Hey Mayama! *a small laugh* What are you doing? I called Rika just now. She said you needed to see me. I know what it is. It's *a pause*  about work, isn't it? Well, come on right up. I'm in the pottery store. You know where that is, right? Hurry up, okay?'

Yamada, you've always tried to hide behind your mask just to see me happy, haven't you?

Guilt creeps inside me.

If ever you confess, I want to turn you down properly. That's what I said, didn't I? You did confess, time and time again. But I've never turned you down. Nomiya did say that I kept you in reserve if ever Rika turned me down. I wanted to challenge Nomiya on that, back then. But now, I'm not sure. May be he's right....

May be I enjoy hurting you.

Takamoto's cell phone buzzes to life and he excuses himself, going out. I don't move, smoking the last of my cigarette and watching the clouds dispelling.

It's funny. It's only when such horrible things happen that a person starts wondering if they did anything to them that they regret.

I almost laugh.

Everything I did to you is worth regretting.
                                                                                      

Look after you.

Fiction

Rain, is gentle. It is calm and blissfully serene. It wawshes off the dirt from everything and turns the world bright. It's light pitter patter makes you want to dance.
-x-

Hey, Kakashi-sensei, are you listening, yeah? What are you doing, I wonder. Hmm.. Wait. I don't want to know. Anyway, you can't speak to me, can you? Well, wherever you are, I'll be joining you in a bit, and then we can have all the fun we used to have.


You know, for a man who was late for everything, you sure left us early. I thought you'd always look after us, and you even promised it, remember? But like everytime, you broke this promise too, didn't you? I don't blame you, sensei. But I really was mad at you then. Naruto and I waited for hours, but you just wouldn't show up! Incase you forgot, you owe me a lunch. You promised it! I'm coming there to get it, just you wait!

Oh, and do you remember? On that day it was raining too. Very heavily. Naruto, who had actually come to pick me up from the gates was forced to stay because I wouldn't budge. And when we could make out figures through the heavy rain, our hearts leapt with anticipation. It turned into a dull throb the very next second, because it wasn't you; it was Tsunade returning from inspecting the area. She yelled at us, but we didn't move an inch, so she simply dragged us in, like we were some 5 year-old kids. Honestly!

From that day on, I hated the rain with all my heart. Because from the next day, I couldn't find you with your stupid STUPID book anywhere! You were permanently late for all your appointments and you made me cry, Kakashi! That's right, there's no 'sensei' for you anymore! You ought to be punished!

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Yamato looked around, worried. The damned rain only increased his anxiety. Shinobi couldn't see well in the rain, and their shinobi were missing. Ever since a cerrtain medic was missing, his head wasn't the same. Just thinking of the possibilities made his heart race up to his throat. Kakashi entrusted Sakura to him.

Damn it.

'Kiba!', he called out.

A few moments later, Kibs atop Akamaru arrived, panting, in the rain.

'Sakura's missing', the older one spoke.

'Understood. Hop on!'

Truthfully, Kiba was practically out of fuel. The pain from his wounds and exhaustion were building up. But Sakura was more important. He had promised Naruto....

=================================

700 meters away from Kiba, and the rest, a Konoha nin was lying under an old tree, the only thing that protected her from the much despised rain. There was a large gash on her head which was bleeding pretty badly. Her arms and legs were scratched like the straw doll they use for target practice. Two pairs of her ribs were broken, paired with a punctured lung. She had no chakra and breathing was becoming difficult by the second. She coughed, as blood came splurting out. She laughed dryly - she knew.

Haruno Sakura knew that there were only a few seconds seperating her from Kakshi and ---

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'Naruto, You dork! Just wait till I get there! You were audacious enough to leave all of us behind, weren't you! And more importantly, I'm going to skin you alive for leaving Hinata...
                   ... but, of course, you're already dead, huh?

You know what, Naruto? When Sasuke left us and Team 7 was officially disbanded, I thought the heartache would be the end of me. But thinking about you, Naruto, just thinking about you not with us, not laughing and not spreading your warmth and determination.. God! It was so painful! You weren't like my brother, Naruto. You were my brother.

I know if you could still talk to me, you'd have thrown up your hands in exasperation and said 'Sakura chan, move on already!' or something like that. But Naruto, you should know that I'm not joking when I say that I did try to. A part of me wanted do move on badly, but the other part just wanted to clutch all the memories together and drown with them. It hurt a lot, Naruto.

I never knew I could feel and bear this much pain, Naruto. Thanks for pushing me and strengthening me. I owe you one. I moved on as I promised, Naruto, and now, I'm on the last page of my journey. Life has been short, and yours even shorter, but it's been good, right?

.... Right, nii-chan?

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