Life doesn't always have a happily ever after.
. . .
It was another of those times when Sasuke really cursed his existence. He knew of the rough life he was forced to lead, he knew all the hardships he faced. But he was rewarded; he was reunited. He was accepted, loved and cared for. And when he was thinking that may be he too could have the enigmatic happily ever after, Fate decided she has been too kind to him and screwed his life up all over again.
Sasuke was rigidly seated on a hospital bench, glaring holes at anything that his eyes met, and muttering curses once in a while.
'-'kura chan' a voice mumbled to his right and he saw Naruto gazing anxiously at the operation room where the red light was still on, indicating that she was still fighting to live. Sasuke's gaze fell down back to his lap and he frowned as his fists clenched.
She was the source of his sorrow.
'She'll be okay, right?' Naruto's voice quivered.
/No, Naruto/
'Right?'
'Hopefully'
'...we will meet at the bridge..'
'Hn.'
'...and she'll scare me with her crazy fists just because I haven't bathed...'
/There'd be no one for Naruto to 'Sakura chan' anymore/
'...and on the third saturday, we still get to do a sleepover at your house...'
/There'd be no one to 'Sasuke kun' me anymore/
'...oh, and of course! We'd still do missions together, and everything will be okay...'
/There'd be Team 7 no more./
'...and...'
'SHUT UP!'
Sasuke growled, clenching his hands yet again. He was not going to comfort Naruto by weaving illusions and lies around them. He was not going to say everything is okay.
/Nothing is/
Naruto promptly fell silent, sliding to the floor and resting his head on his folded knees.
Sasuke felt uncomfortable. He felt agitated. He felt... hurt.
/Tsunade gave up hope. TSUNADE gave up hope.
Doesn't she care enough?/
Sasuke scoffed as soon as the thought passed through his head. He wasn't worthy to ask such a question when, not so long ago, he was the one who didn't care enough.
Footsteps echoed as people rushed into the congested hall. Konoha 12, all of them, gathered there. Tenten quickly regained her breath and asked in a hurry:
'How is she?'
Sasuke expected Ino to question him first, but one glance at her told him she was feeling sick. She knew something horrible was going to happen. She just knew it.
Not having heard Naruto's reply, Sasuke spoke up the bitter truth
'No hope.'
The only thing Sasuke saw before blonde and orange obstructed his view was that Ino had slid to the floor, her legs too weak to support.
Thinking something to happen is always different from actually hearing it.
'How DARE you!' Naruto pinned him to the wall, faint traces of red leaking into his irises.
'The truth, Naruto!'
'Bullshit! You just agreed that she'd be fine! Don't you dare go back on your word, temé!'
Everyone just looked on; too shocked to move.
'What does your head say, Naruto?'
Knowing is different from believing
'T-That's irrelevant!'
/You know you believe what Tsunade said too. I know that you do./
Sasuke snorted.
'Really? So you want to live in a world of falsities and lies, do you?'
That perhaps that today never existed?
'TEMÉ!'
That may be I am not to be blamed for what happened?
'... Let go, Naruto.'
'What?'
Guilt. That was what stopped Naruto, and brought him back to his senses. He could sense guilt in his voice. That and sorrow. Painful sorrow.
May be that we never went on that mission?
'Sasuke, are you okay?
May be that there never was a Haruno Sakura to begin with? A girl filled with life and joy, with hopes and aims, wishing to share her joy and suffer through the pain.'I'm not okay, OKAY?! Now just shut the hell up and let go of me, dammit!' he yelled, yanking his clothing from Naruto's fist and stomping off.
/What am I thinking? She isn't dead yet!/
But his pessimistic side, or as he liked to call it, his logical side replied
When Tsunade says there's no hope, there's no hope.
'Shit! Damn every fucking thing!'
He'd do anything to go back and correct his mistake. He'd give up everything to see her alive.
. . .
He trudged slowly along the road, ignoring the whispers people made. He was sure people were even pointing at him behind his back. But this wasn't anything new. Humiliation has been one of his newest friends of late. He felt dizzy. He didn't want this, but then again, no one did.
If only he could let go of these regrets and make everything okay.
His head was numb. It was a wonder he even found his way back to his home. Stepping in and locking the door behind him, he fell into the couch. He didn't get up to switch on the light. He couldn't.
He was tired. Dead tired of everything the world offered him at the moment.
And as usual, darkness brought with it it's playmate, the one thing Sasuke feared the most. Memories. But he did nothing to ward them off. He looked at the unlit tubelight with numb fascination as he relived the day's events. His nightmare.
================
It was been a mission; an A class. They were to deal with the Grass nin to the north west of the Land of Fire and stop them from reaching Konoha; ward them off, injure them, kill them. Anything as long as they didn't reach Konoha.
Team 7 and two teams of chuunins were assigned, with Sasuke as the captain. Everything went well. They reached the location in due time and scanned the area throughly. Sure enough, a little army, about 14, of Grass nins were relaxing in the clearing.
'Now that is great timing' Sasuke thought, smirking to himself.
Things couldn't get any better.
All he needed then was a plan. He posted a chuunin near the Grass' camp to report of their motives. And they found out soon enough. Kyuubi.
Sasuke frowned.
/Since when was the Grass interested in Kyuubi? Unless Akatsuki...
Damn. Since we don't know the ranks and capabilities of these nins, it'll be a risk to bring Naruto into battle. But if this mission is to succeed, we need him action./
'We need a distraction -' he announced to his team. The chuunins looked hopeful '- and I don't want chuunins. They are an easy bait. I want someone who can stand ground.'
His eyes meaningfully rested on Sakura, who nodded at once. 'I'll go.'
He could've gone instead of her. He could've told the team his plan and hope that they executed it perfectly. But no.
Those who don't follow rules are trash.
He was arrogant. Afterall, he was the team leader; they had to obey him.
But those who don't care about their team mates are worse than trash.
In a moment, Sakura was ready for Sasuke's signal. She trusted him.
She trusted him. Sasuke knew that a long time ago. But what he realised later was that she trusted him foolishly. She didn't ask him of the plan. She was ready to jump in the fray just like that. She was ready to be the pawn without knowing whether or not she'll even wake up the next day. God, she trusted him foolishly, blindly, selflessly.
[Sasuke felt disgusted with himself.]
She left his side the next second as the Konoha nins waited with sick anticipation.
'She has to succeed. Has to. HAS TO!' his mind screamed
[Even then, the mission was all he cared about. Not her, a pawn.]
It was a full six minutes later that Sasuke's heart dropped to his toes. That he realised distractions and ambushes can be predicted; and that his plans weren't as foolproof as he believed them to be.
The seventh minute was very happening. Sakura's scream echoed through the clearing; Naruto lost hold on the Kyuubi; and Sasuke suddenly felt helpless.
By the twenty-seventh minute, it was all over; and by the seventy-seventh minute, they were all in Konoha's hospital, with Sakura piggybacked on Naruto's back; and Sasuke's hopes crushed.
. . .
It was another of those times when Sasuke really cursed his existence. He knew of the rough life he was forced to lead, he knew all the hardships he faced. But he was rewarded; he was reunited. He was accepted, loved and cared for. And when he was thinking that may be he too could have the enigmatic happily ever after, Fate decided she has been too kind to him and screwed his life up all over again.
Sasuke was rigidly seated on a hospital bench, glaring holes at anything that his eyes met, and muttering curses once in a while.
'-'kura chan' a voice mumbled to his right and he saw Naruto gazing anxiously at the operation room where the red light was still on, indicating that she was still fighting to live. Sasuke's gaze fell down back to his lap and he frowned as his fists clenched.
She was the source of his sorrow.
'She'll be okay, right?' Naruto's voice quivered.
/No, Naruto/
'Right?'
'Hopefully'
'...we will meet at the bridge..'
'Hn.'
'...and she'll scare me with her crazy fists just because I haven't bathed...'
/There'd be no one for Naruto to 'Sakura chan' anymore/
'...and on the third saturday, we still get to do a sleepover at your house...'
/There'd be no one to 'Sasuke kun' me anymore/
'...oh, and of course! We'd still do missions together, and everything will be okay...'
/There'd be Team 7 no more./
'...and...'
'SHUT UP!'
Sasuke growled, clenching his hands yet again. He was not going to comfort Naruto by weaving illusions and lies around them. He was not going to say everything is okay.
/Nothing is/
Naruto promptly fell silent, sliding to the floor and resting his head on his folded knees.
Sasuke felt uncomfortable. He felt agitated. He felt... hurt.
/Tsunade gave up hope. TSUNADE gave up hope.
Doesn't she care enough?/
Sasuke scoffed as soon as the thought passed through his head. He wasn't worthy to ask such a question when, not so long ago, he was the one who didn't care enough.
Footsteps echoed as people rushed into the congested hall. Konoha 12, all of them, gathered there. Tenten quickly regained her breath and asked in a hurry:
'How is she?'
Sasuke expected Ino to question him first, but one glance at her told him she was feeling sick. She knew something horrible was going to happen. She just knew it.
Not having heard Naruto's reply, Sasuke spoke up the bitter truth
'No hope.'
The only thing Sasuke saw before blonde and orange obstructed his view was that Ino had slid to the floor, her legs too weak to support.
Thinking something to happen is always different from actually hearing it.
'How DARE you!' Naruto pinned him to the wall, faint traces of red leaking into his irises.
'The truth, Naruto!'
'Bullshit! You just agreed that she'd be fine! Don't you dare go back on your word, temé!'
Everyone just looked on; too shocked to move.
'What does your head say, Naruto?'
Knowing is different from believing
'T-That's irrelevant!'
/You know you believe what Tsunade said too. I know that you do./
Sasuke snorted.
'Really? So you want to live in a world of falsities and lies, do you?'
That perhaps that today never existed?
'TEMÉ!'
That may be I am not to be blamed for what happened?
'... Let go, Naruto.'
'What?'
Guilt. That was what stopped Naruto, and brought him back to his senses. He could sense guilt in his voice. That and sorrow. Painful sorrow.
May be that we never went on that mission?
'Sasuke, are you okay?
May be that there never was a Haruno Sakura to begin with? A girl filled with life and joy, with hopes and aims, wishing to share her joy and suffer through the pain.'I'm not okay, OKAY?! Now just shut the hell up and let go of me, dammit!' he yelled, yanking his clothing from Naruto's fist and stomping off.
/What am I thinking? She isn't dead yet!/
But his pessimistic side, or as he liked to call it, his logical side replied
When Tsunade says there's no hope, there's no hope.
'Shit! Damn every fucking thing!'
He'd do anything to go back and correct his mistake. He'd give up everything to see her alive.
. . .
He trudged slowly along the road, ignoring the whispers people made. He was sure people were even pointing at him behind his back. But this wasn't anything new. Humiliation has been one of his newest friends of late. He felt dizzy. He didn't want this, but then again, no one did.
If only he could let go of these regrets and make everything okay.
His head was numb. It was a wonder he even found his way back to his home. Stepping in and locking the door behind him, he fell into the couch. He didn't get up to switch on the light. He couldn't.
He was tired. Dead tired of everything the world offered him at the moment.
And as usual, darkness brought with it it's playmate, the one thing Sasuke feared the most. Memories. But he did nothing to ward them off. He looked at the unlit tubelight with numb fascination as he relived the day's events. His nightmare.
================
It was been a mission; an A class. They were to deal with the Grass nin to the north west of the Land of Fire and stop them from reaching Konoha; ward them off, injure them, kill them. Anything as long as they didn't reach Konoha.
Team 7 and two teams of chuunins were assigned, with Sasuke as the captain. Everything went well. They reached the location in due time and scanned the area throughly. Sure enough, a little army, about 14, of Grass nins were relaxing in the clearing.
'Now that is great timing' Sasuke thought, smirking to himself.
Things couldn't get any better.
All he needed then was a plan. He posted a chuunin near the Grass' camp to report of their motives. And they found out soon enough. Kyuubi.
Sasuke frowned.
/Since when was the Grass interested in Kyuubi? Unless Akatsuki...
Damn. Since we don't know the ranks and capabilities of these nins, it'll be a risk to bring Naruto into battle. But if this mission is to succeed, we need him action./
'We need a distraction -' he announced to his team. The chuunins looked hopeful '- and I don't want chuunins. They are an easy bait. I want someone who can stand ground.'
His eyes meaningfully rested on Sakura, who nodded at once. 'I'll go.'
He could've gone instead of her. He could've told the team his plan and hope that they executed it perfectly. But no.
Those who don't follow rules are trash.
He was arrogant. Afterall, he was the team leader; they had to obey him.
But those who don't care about their team mates are worse than trash.
In a moment, Sakura was ready for Sasuke's signal. She trusted him.
She trusted him. Sasuke knew that a long time ago. But what he realised later was that she trusted him foolishly. She didn't ask him of the plan. She was ready to jump in the fray just like that. She was ready to be the pawn without knowing whether or not she'll even wake up the next day. God, she trusted him foolishly, blindly, selflessly.
[Sasuke felt disgusted with himself.]
She left his side the next second as the Konoha nins waited with sick anticipation.
'She has to succeed. Has to. HAS TO!' his mind screamed
[Even then, the mission was all he cared about. Not her, a pawn.]
It was a full six minutes later that Sasuke's heart dropped to his toes. That he realised distractions and ambushes can be predicted; and that his plans weren't as foolproof as he believed them to be.
The seventh minute was very happening. Sakura's scream echoed through the clearing; Naruto lost hold on the Kyuubi; and Sasuke suddenly felt helpless.
By the twenty-seventh minute, it was all over; and by the seventy-seventh minute, they were all in Konoha's hospital, with Sakura piggybacked on Naruto's back; and Sasuke's hopes crushed.
-------------------
